The CognoZen Column

10 Signs You Might Be Oversharing

Keep reading to learn 10 signs that you might be oversharing.

In 9 Ways To Stop Oversharing & How To Deepen Connections (Without Draining Anyone) we discussed the potential cons of oversharing and how you can stop oversharing, find your balance, and deepen your connections with the people you care about without draining them.

In this article, we’re going to look at 10 signs you might be an oversharer.

Before we jump right into it, let me first say that there’s no judgment here. With the rising popularity of going live and sharing every moment of your life with your audience, oversharing has become the norm. There are far fewer boundaries and it seems as though privacy is no longer sacred.

That having been said, most of us are oversharing without even realizing it. So keep reading to see if you do any of these 10 things, and take the quiz to find out more about your sharing style and how you can use it to your advantage.

10 Signs You Might Be Oversharing

1. Your sharing often leads to arguments, leaving you feeling misunderstood.

It’s normal for people with different backgrounds and experiences to view things differently. That’s what makes us wonderfully unique and individual.

But sometimes this means that the feedback you get could feel hurtful and judgmental, simply because the person you’re talking to sees things differently than you. You might have reached out for empathy and gotten criticism and tough love instead.

If you find yourself walking away from conversations feeling hurt and misunderstood often, you might be sharing too much with the wrong person. It may be best to keep your own confidence or find someone else who can hold space for you in the supportive and non-judgmental way you need.

2. Your friends seem uncomfortable when you share personal details. Or they zone out completely.

We talk about this in-depth in 9 Ways To Stop Oversharing & How To Deepen Connections (Without Draining Anyone) so I won’t belabor the point, but we all know how awkward it feels when you can tell someone does NOT want to talk to you anymore. It stings even more when they are exactly the person you want to be talking to.

Learn to study people’s body language when you’re speaking, and don’t take what you notice personally. Sure, they might not like you as much as you thought they did, and that’s something worth noting. There’s no point in continuing to reach out to people that aren’t interested in you.

BUT they could also just be stressed out and preoccupied with their own problems. Their behavior may have nothing to do with you. You might’ve just caught them at a bad time.

If you catch multiple people acting this way, more than once, then chances are you have a habit of oversharing that you might need to get in check.

3. You find yourself constantly apologizing for talking too much and sharing too much information.

Here’s some tough love for you:

If you have to apologize for the same thing multiple times, you have a habit that’s a problem.

If you know you’re talking too much, you must find the discipline to control your rambling tendencies. An easy way to do this is to shift your focus onto listening more. Give people a chance to say what’s on their mind and train yourself to actually be interested in it.

People don’t mind your chatter as much when they feel like they’re getting equal opportunities to share. Friendships should be balanced. It’s about give and take. You don’t have to feel paranoid every time you speak. You just need to set the intention to listen more and you’ll naturally find balance.

4. You feel the need to share every detail of your life, even the mundane ones.

A lot of the time we talk just to talk. And we do it because it feels good.

According to one study, talking about yourself activates the same areas of the brain that light up when eating good food, taking drugs and even having sex. So it’s understandable that we love people who allow us to be Chatty Cathy and Chesters, and why we’re constantly looking for more opportunities to tell our story to anyone that’ll listen.

But before you share, ask yourself: does this person REALLY need to know this?

More often than not, knowing what you ate for breakfast or everything you did during your last night out won’t transform their lives. Learn to be selective about what you share.

5. You often interrupt others to share your own stories or opinions.

Comparing similar stories is a great way to build connections and let people know that they’re not alone in what they’re going through.

But do you let others finish their thoughts before jumping in with your own anecdotes?

Learn how to let people have the floor. Sometimes they don’t need to know that “the SAME thing happened to” you; they just need to be heard. Allow people to have their moment and show your support in more appropriate ways, like empathizing and encouraging them. It doesn’t have to be about you every time.

Read the room to determine what form of support they might need most before responding.

6. You share personal information with people you barely know.

Have you ever met someone that you instantly felt a connection with? So much so that you found yourself spilling your guts to them within 30 minutes of meeting?

Yeah, I think we’ve all been there before (especially when drinks are involved!).

But I want to encourage you to learn how to slow down. It’s great that you feel a deep connection with them, and they may end up being someone you grow to love and admire.

But there’s no way you can be certain that the connection is real without getting to know them over time. Don’t rush the process of getting to know someone, no matter how much you adore them from day 1. Take time to learn their quirks, history, and habits before revealing intimate details about your life to them.

This can save you a lot of heartache and embarrassment in the long run.

7. You use social media as a personal diary.

Do you post every thought, feeling, and experience on social media, regardless of its appropriateness or potential impact on others?

Remember that the internet lives on forever.

Sure, one day it will become so overwhelmed with information that the things you posted won’t matter anymore, or will at least be hard to find. Nevertheless, your posts take on a life of their own once you push “upload”.

Do you really want to have to relive every emotion-filled memory just because you felt like sharing it while it happened for attention and validation?

Download a diary app or buy a physical notebook. Word vomiting on the internet isn’t it, boo.

8. You feel the need to “one-up” others’ stories with your own.

Do you constantly try to top others’ stories with more dramatic or extreme versions of your own experiences?

I don’t mean sharing to relate, like in #5. I mean intentionally sharing to make yourself look and feel better than the people around you.

This can be a sign of insecurity or a need for attention. It can also be a learned behavior that you don’t even realize you’re doing.

For instance, this is a common trend among people in the entertainment industry. And I don’t just mean celebrities. I mean entertainers in general, including 5-year-olds at the local Dolly Dinkle Dance Studio. It’s so common that it can feel abnormal when you don’t do.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad people or “narcissists”. Artists are larger-than-life and great storytellers that love the spotlight. Their stories can be hilarious and delightful to the right audience.

What I’m focusing on is the WHY that drives the actions. Before you speak, ask yourself WHY you want to share the story that’s on your mind. If it’s ego and insecurity-driven, consider keeping it to yourself.

9. You share intimate details about your relationship without your partner’s consent.

In the age where people vlog and dish about every detail of their relationship, I strongly encourage you to be the person that doesn’t.

Not only can this save you from loads of unnecessary embarrassment down the road, but it can also help you earn the trust and respect of the partner that you adore.

If you love someone, protect them. Honor them. Support and uplift them. In public and in private.

You don’t have to broadcast everything that happens between the two of you. As a matter of fact, if you want to have a strong and healthy relationship, it’s imperative that you don’t.

10. You feel like your friends are pulling away from you.

Have you noticed your friends becoming less responsive or avoiding spending time with you? This could be a sign that your oversharing is making them uncomfortable or draining their energy.

As someone with ADHD, I’ve always been naturally talkative. It’s a trait most of us share, without even realizing it.

When I made the decision 3 years ago to speak less and listen more, my relationships changed for the better. People love to call me up and hang around me because they know that they can talk to me about anything and I’ll listen…and I love that.

On the flip, I’m also aware of how draining it can be to listen to people talk nonstop, which has made me extra sensitive to noticing if and when I’m making others feel that way.

Awareness is key, and becoming a better listener is a simple solution that can save many of your friendships.


So how much of this resonated with you? If you found that you do most of these things, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Just take that information and be intentional about making different choices. And remember to take the quiz to learn more about your sharing archetype and how you can use it to your advantage!

Get instant access to the FREE 3-Day CognoZen Challenge to learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind for more wealth, happiness, & success!

What To Read Next

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& remember to check out our FREE downloads in the Freebie shop!

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