QuizzesThe CognoZen Column

Are You An Oversharer? Discover Your Connection Style | Quiz

Take this quiz to learn your sharing style and how you can use it to your benefit.

In 9 Ways To Stop Oversharing & How To Deepen Connections (Without Draining Anyone) we discussed how oversharing impacts our relationships.

Now it’s time to figure out what kind of sharer you are! Take the quiz to learn more about your sharing archetype!

The Oversharer

If you’re the friend who spills the tea before it’s even brewed, this one’s for you! Your openness and honesty are a breath of fresh air, and your friends love your candidness. But sometimes, oversharing can backfire. Let’s explore your strengths, the potential pitfalls, and how to find a happy medium that deepens your connections without overwhelming your crew.

The Oversharer’s Overview

You’re the open book of the friend group, always ready to share your thoughts and feelings (sometimes whether people want to hear them or not!). You’re passionate and expressive, but sometimes your enthusiasm can lead to TMI. You value authenticity and connection, but you might need to work on setting boundaries and being more mindful of your audience.

The Oversharer’s Strengths

  • Authentic AF: You’re not afraid to show your true colors, warts and all. You share your thoughts and feelings openly, making others feel safe to do the same. You show people how beautiful it is to be wonderfully flawed and human.
  • Super Connector: Your willingness to be vulnerable creates a space for deeper connections with others. People feel like they can truly be themselves around you, which means that you get to see sides of people that no one else does. You make it easy for people to understand you, and give them hope that they’ll one day feel understood the same way.
  • Great Emotional Expressor: You’re in touch with your feelings and aren’t afraid to show them. This emotional intelligence helps you navigate relationships with greater understanding and empathy.
  • Expert Storyteller: You have a knack for sharing stories and anecdotes that captivate and entertain your friends. You’re probably a great writer, songwriter, or artist of some sort. Your enthusiasm and expressive nature can make you a joy to be around. People willingly sit and listen to what you have to say.

The Oversharer’s Challenges

  • TMI: Sometimes, you might share too much too soon, leaving your friends feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Depending on what’s going on in their lives, this might cause people to want to spend less time with you or cut you off completely. You’re wonderful, but not everyone can handle your intensity.
  • Blurred Boundaries: You might inadvertently cross personal boundaries by sharing information that’s not yours to share. It’s great to tell stories and connect, but be careful that you don’t start to gossip. You don’t have to say everything you see or hear.
  • Losing Trust: If you overshare confidential information, it can damage trust and make it difficult for others to confide in you. You might also put yourself in a position for the wrong people to spread your business, start rumors, or use what you share against you in some way.
  • Repelling Potential Friends: Oversharing can sometimes intimidate or overwhelm people, making it harder to form new connections.
  • Emotional Exhaustion: Constantly processing and expressing your emotions can be draining, leading to emotional burnout.

Helpful Tips for The Oversharer

  • Pause Before You Post: Before sharing something personal, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself, “Is this the right time, place, and person to share this with?” Consider the impact your words might have on others and yourself in the long run.
  • Create an “Inner Circle”: Identify a few trusted friends or family members who you feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with. Save your most vulnerable shares for these safe spaces. And if you don’t fully trust them, consider getting a therapist or joining a support group. It’s important to express yourself. But make sure you find safe spaces to do so.
  • Practice Discernment: Learn to differentiate between healthy sharing and oversharing. Ask yourself, “Am I sharing this to connect or to get attention/validation?” Be mindful of your intentions and motivations behind your communication.

By embracing your strengths, recognizing your challenges, and implementing these tips, you can harness the power of your openness while also respecting boundaries and creating deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

The Soulful Sharer

You share openly and honestly with those you trust, but you also know when to hold back. You value deep connections and vulnerability, but you also respect boundaries and understand the importance of discretion. You have a healthy balance of openness and discernment. You’re able to share authentically without overstepping boundaries or making others uncomfortable.

The Soulful Sharer’s Strengths

  • Authentic Communicator: You express your thoughts and feelings honestly, creating a safe space for others to do the same. You don’t shy away from difficult conversations, but you approach them with kindness and empathy. You’re the person everyone wants to talk to, about any and everything.
  • Deep Connector: You value genuine connections and understand the power of vulnerability. You’re willing to share your joys and sorrows, creating strong bonds with those you trust. You’re selective about who you share with, but you hold nothing back from the ones you love and trust the most.
  • Thoughtful Listener: You actively listen to others, providing a non-judgmental space for them to express themselves. You ask insightful questions and offer thoughtful feedback, showing you truly care about what they have to say. People always feel better after they’ve spoken with you. Your concern in genuine and your advice is golden. You’re a friend that everyone is grateful for.
  • Trustworthy Confidante: No shady business over here! People feel safe confiding in you because they know you’ll respect their privacy and offer unwavering support. You’re the friend everyone turns to when they need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear and they know they’ll never have to worry about you sharing their secrets as the latest gossip.
  • Relationship Builder: Cut the small talk! You prioritize meaningful connections over superficial interactions. You invest time and energy into nurturing your friendships, creating lasting bonds that stand the test of time. Your relationships mean the world to you, and it shows.

The Soulful Sharer’s Challenges

  • Vulnerability Hangover: Sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. You might worry about being judged or misunderstood, or fear that people are pretending to care to get the latest scoop but gossiping about you behind your back. This can feel uncomfortable and unsafe for you.
  • Oversharing: Like The Oversharer, sometimes your enthusiasm for connection can lead you to share too much too soon, making others uncomfortable. You’re learning how to allow relationships to deepen organically over time instead of diving straight into the deep end from the jump.
  • Emotional Overload: It’s great that people love to talk to you, but taking on the emotional burdens of others can be draining, especially if you’re not careful to set boundaries. You need to learn how to make time to tend to your own emotions instead of playing therapist for everyone else 24/7.
  • Difficulty Saying No: You might find it hard to decline requests or set limits in relationships, fearing it will damage your connections. You haven’t learned that boundaries strengthen the relationships that truly matter, not break them.
  • Conflict Avoidance: You might avoid conflict or difficult conversations to maintain harmony, which can lead to unresolved issues and harboring resentment.

Tips for The Soulful Sharer

  • Protect Your Energy: Recognize that you don’t have to be everyone’s emotional dumping ground. Set healthy boundaries to protect your energy and avoid burnout. It’s wonderful that you want to be there for everyone, but your time and energy are valuable, so be selective about who you give it to. People will still appreciate you even if you set boundaries.
  • Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that recharge and nourish your soul. This will help you maintain emotional balance and prevent compassion fatigue. Take a nap, go for a walk, spend time with your pets, read a book, journal…do whatever you have to do to replenish yourself whenever you need to!
  • Trust Your Intuition: Not everyone deserves your trust and vulnerability. Sometimes people only get close to you to learn your weaknesses. This isn’t always the case, and there are plenty of incredible humans in the world, but this is still something to be aware of. Listen to your gut feelings and choose your confidants wisely.

By embracing your strengths, facing your challenges, and implementing these tips, you can continue to build deep and meaningful connections while also protecting your own well-being. Remember, your ability to connect authentically is a gift, and with a little self-awareness and healthy boundaries, you can create lasting, fulfilling relationships!

The Vault

You’re a private person who prefers to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You value your privacy and carefully guard your inner world. You’re more reserved and introspective, and you might need more time to warm up to new people before sharing personal information. You might also struggle with vulnerability or fear being judged.

The Vault’s Strengths

  • Introspective & Thoughtful: You have a rich inner world and enjoy sorting through your thoughts and feelings. You’re naturally introspective and reflective. You feel most peaceful and at home when you’re alone. You need regular breaks from people to recharge your batteries and reconnect with yourself. You’re not a social butterfly, but people love to be around you anyway.
  • Discretion & Confidentiality: You never have to worry about people spreading your business because you rarely ever tell it to anyone! You value privacy above all else and are careful about who you share your personal information with. You protect other people’s secrets as passionately as you protect your own. You’re a trustworthy confidante who can be counted on.
  • Self-Contained & Independent: You are your own best friend, and we love that! You’re comfortable with your own company and don’t rely on external validation or constant social interaction for happiness. You enjoy your own space and time to recharge. You’re always down for solo travel, dinner for 1, or spending a few days (or weeks) hibernating with your pets, disconnected from the world. While this may sound dreadful to an extrovert, it’s glorious to you!
  • Observant & Perceptive: Okay, Sherlock Holmes! You’re a keen observer of human behavior and often pick up on subtle cues that others might miss. You’re fluent in body language and able to read between the lines when someone is talking. This helps you make informed decisions and navigate social situations with tact.
  • Deep Thinker: You’re a philosopher at heart. You enjoy spending time lounging in the sun, pondering life’s big questions and exploring complex ideas. You’re not afraid to challenge conventional thinking and seek out your own unique truths. You’re solid in your beliefs, whether other people agree with you or not. It’s important for you to think for yourself and know where you stand, independent of the opinions of others.

The Vault’s Challenges

  • Isolation & Loneliness: Life can get lonely when you don’t trust anyone. Your preference for privacy can sometimes lead to feeling isolated, especially if you don’t have a close-knit circle of trusted friends. It’s great to protect your privacy, but it’s important to have at least 1 or 2 people that you can use as a soundboard and share your thoughts and feelings with. Even if it’s just a therapist, everyone needs someone.
  • Difficulty with Vulnerability: Sharing your thoughts and feelings might feel uncomfortable or risky, making it difficult to build deep, intimate connections. People may feel like they don’t know you and can never really get a read on you. While it’s great that you accept and think for yourself, you’re missing out on the beauty of being truly seen and accepted by the ones you love.
  • Misunderstood: Others might see you as aloof, cold, or uninterested, when in reality, you’re simply processing things internally. Your silence can be easily mistaken for lack of concern or judgment, which can cause people to feel rejected by you. This misunderstanding can lead to hurt feelings and hidden resentments that are completely avoidable!
  • Missed Opportunities for Connection: Your reserved nature might cause you to miss out on potential friendships or connections with people who could enrich your life. While it doesn’t always seem like it, there ARE trustworthy people in the world. And if you don’t put yourself out there, at least a little bit, you might miss out on meeting them.
  • Internalized Stress: Bottling up your emotions can lead to internalized stress and anxiety, which can manifest as physical and mental health issues.

Tips for The Vault

  • Start with Low-Pressure Interactions: Ease into social settings by starting with activities that don’t require a lot of personal sharing or forced conversation. Join a book club, take a class, or volunteer for a cause you care about. These environments offer opportunities to connect with others who share your interests, without the pressure to be overly social.
  • Create a “Safe Space” for Vulnerability: Pick a trusted friend or family member who you feel comfortable opening up to. Start by sharing small details or thoughts about surface-level topics, and gradually increase the level of vulnerability as trust builds. This will help you practice opening up and sharing without feeling overwhelmed.
  • Challenge Yourself: Step outside your comfort zone and try new things that involve interacting with others. You might be surprised by how rewarding it can be to connect with people on a deeper level.

Remember, being a Vault doesn’t mean you have to be completely closed off. By gradually opening up to trusted individuals, embracing vulnerability, and seeking out supportive communities, you can build a fulfilling social life while still honoring your need for privacy and solitude.

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What To Read Next

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