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“What Kind Of Support System Do You Need?” Quiz (And How To Build It!) | The CognoZen Method

Take the quiz and find out what kind of support system you need and get tips on how you can make the most of it!

To quote The Beatles:

“(We) get by with a little help from our friends.”

Having a reliable support system that you know you can turn to is so important when it comes to living a happy and successful life.

We weren’t meant to go through life alone. We all need people who will celebrate our wins with us and hug us when we cry. We need people we can call on when we’re confused, frustrated, and lonely. We need friends that we can bounce ideas off of to get clear on how we should bring our dreams to life.

We need people that we can laugh with, waste time with, or even just be silent with.

We were designed for connection, despite the fact that studies show that we are more disconnected and lonely now than any other time in history.

So what kind of support system do you need, and how can you go about building it? Take the quiz and come back to learn more!

The Independent Trailblazer

You’re the lone wolf, the DIY expert, the one who forges their own path. You’re fiercely independent and value your autonomy, resourcefulness, and the freedom to do things your way. You have a strong sense of self-reliance and a belief in your own abilities. That’s awesome! But even the fiercest lone wolves need a pack sometimes.

The Independent Trailblazer’s Strengths

  • Self-Reliant: You’re a natural problem-solver, resourceful and capable of tackling challenges on your own. Getting help is great, sure, but you’re not waiting for anyone to come save you. You can take care of yourself, if needed.
  • Determined: You’re driven by your own goals and aspirations, not swayed by the opinions of others. You think for yourself and do as you please. Once you put your mind to something it is VERY hard for someone to convince you to do something different!
  • Creative: You think outside the box, finding innovative solutions and unique paths to success. You’re not impressed with the status quo and you don’t care about what other people do. You’re focused on creating YOUR own lane because you know that no one can do YOU like you do.
  • Self-Aware: You know your strengths and weaknesses, and you’re constantly learning and growing. The extensive amount of time you spend alone gives you plenty of space to reflect on what’s working, what isn’t, and what changes need to be made.
  • Authentic: You live life on your own terms, staying true to your values and beliefs. You know that no one else can live your life for you, so you prioritize your inner voice above everything.

The Independent Trailblazer’s Challenges

  • Isolation: It’s great that you’re at peace with yourself and know how to enjoy your own company! But your hyper-independence can sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness or isolation.
  • Burnout: Life can be hard and it seems like there’s always 1000 things that need to get done. Taking on everything yourself can be exhausting and lead to burnout. You secretly wish you had a little more help sometimes…
  • Missed Learning Opportunities: You might miss out on valuable perspectives and collaborations when you go it alone. You’re talented and brilliant, yes. The things you create are amazing, yes. But imagine how much better they could be if you collaborated with other talented and brilliant individuals. Think of the magic you could create!
  • Resistance to Vulnerability: You never want to burden anyone, or make people think that they have power over you. You’re grateful when you receive help but hate feeling indebted to anyone. Asking for help can feel like a weakness, making it difficult to reach out when you need support.
  • Limited Perspective: Your individual viewpoint might be limited, preventing you from seeing the bigger picture or different solutions. It’s great to get feedback from others when you can. It might inspire you to make different choices than you initially considered.

6 Ways To Build The Support System You Need

  • Identify Your Support Style: Figure out the types of support that make you feel most empowered and comfortable. Do you prefer practical advice, a listening ear, a collaborative brainstorming session, or someone to cheer you on? Knowing your preferences will help you determine the people and resources you need to seek out.
  • Create a Support Map: Make a visual representation of your current support network. Who are the people you can turn to for different types of support (emotional, practical, professional)? Are there any gaps you need to fill? This exercise can help you see where you might need to expand your circle.
  • Diversify Your Support Squad: No one can be everything you need, all the time. Consider seeking support from a variety of sources. This could include friends, family, mentors, therapists, coaches, online communities, or professional organizations. Having a diverse support system ensures you always have access to different perspectives when you need it.
  • Practice Vulnerability: Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. And you are NOT a burden. You know how good you feel after helping someone in need? Well, other people love that feeling, too! Give people the chance to help you. They’re more than likely ready and willing to, and have just been waiting for you to ask.
  • Reciprocity is Key: Extend a helping hand to the people in your inner circle as well. By giving back, you strengthen your relationships and create an energy of mutual support and love that everyone can benefit from.
  • Set Clear Expectations: Communicate your needs and preferences clearly to those in your support system. Let them know what kind of support you’re looking for and how they can best help you. People may have the best intentions, but none of us have the power to read minds yet. (At least, I don’t think so…can you???) This will help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that you receive the support you need in the most effective way possible.

So, Independent Trailblazer, keep doing your thing! Your self-reliance and determination are inspiring. Just remember that even the strongest wolves sometimes need their pack. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, lean on your support system, and embrace the power of collaboration. You might be surprised at what you can achieve together.

The Social Butterfly

If your phone’s always buzzing with group chat notifications, you’re the first to RSVP to any event, and you thrive on the energy of others, then you are definitely The Social Butterfly!

You come alive in social settings and love connecting with people. Your wide network of friends and acquaintances offers you a wealth of support and encouragement. You’re naturally outgoing and enjoy building relationships. You value connection and collaboration, and you find strength in numbers.

The Social Butterfly’s Strengths

  • Natural Connector: You’re the glue that holds your friend groups together. You effortlessly bring people together and create a fun, welcoming atmosphere wherever you go. Whenever people ask, “Who’s all going?” and they hear your name, the RSVP list doubles! You’re the joy of the friend group, the beloved one. And you accept this role with pride.
  • Network Ninja: You’ve got connections in every corner of your life – from school and work to hobbies and social scenes. Your LinkedIn network is endless. You’re comfortable meeting new people and easily turn strangers into friends. You can walk into a party knowing only the host and have everyone hugging you goodbye by the time you leave.
  • Communication Pro: You’re a master communicator, always ready with a kind word, a listening ear, or a hilarious anecdote. People always tell you that they could listen to you talk all day, and it’s true! You have the gift of gab and you use it in a loving and compassionate way.
  • Energy Amplifier: You thrive on the energy of others, feeling energized and inspired by social interactions. You have no problem talking to anyone about anything for any amount of time. At a party, in the grocery store, or in the pickup station at Starbucks, you strike up conversations that make even the most socially-awkward introverts feel completely at ease. You have a magnetic charm about you that people can’t get enough of and you know how to work it!
  • Open-Hearted & Empathetic: You genuinely care about people and have a knack for making them feel seen and understood. If you see someone standing in a corner by themselves, you invite them to join the group. You are intentional about making sure that no one ever feels alone or forgotten when you’re around. It’s important to you that everyone knows that they matter and are worthy of love, and that’s really beautiful to see.

The Social Butterfly’s Challenges

  • FOMO Feels: Fear of missing out can lead you to overcommit and spread yourself too thin, leaving you feeling drained and unfulfilled. You don’t have to attend every mixer or meeting, babe. It’s okay to prioritize alone time and recharge!
  • Surface-Level Connections: While your network is wide, you might struggle to build deeper, more intimate friendships. Sure, everyone knows you as the life of the party and loves you for it, but what else do they know about you? How often do they ask how you’re feeling, or for your thoughts on serious matters? Who really knows what makes you tick, cringe, happy, or cry? Who have you allowed to get to know the real you?
  • Conflict Aversion: You might avoid difficult conversations or confrontation to maintain harmony, which can lead to unresolved issues and even harbored resentment. While it’s great that you love to talk, is what you’re saying the full truth? YOUR truth? Are you holding back certain opinions and beliefs that are important to you just for the sake of keeping the peace? Are you popular because you’re a people-pleaser? No judgment, but it’s something to consider.
  • Dependence on External Validation: Your happiness and self-worth might be tied to your social interactions and the approval of others. You can feel very caught off-guard and insecure when someone doesn’t like you. This might cause you to act in ways that are inauthentic to you just to get their approval and acceptance. You’re not used to not being the favorite, and you hate when it happens.
  • Neglecting Self-Care: You might prioritize the needs of others over your own, leading to burnout. You could be creating dynamics where people love you because you always come across as cheerful and funny, which pressures you to put on a facade on the days when you’re feeling down in the dumps. People might even see you on an off day and say, “I’ve never seen you like this before…I don’t like it.” And while a part of them may be saying it because they don’t like to see you upset, the bigger reason might be that they depend on you to boost their own joy and when you don’t live up to their expectations, they don’t like it. That’s a heavy burden to bear, babe.

6 Ways To Build The Support System You Need

  • Quality Over Quantity: Shift your focus from the number of friends you have to the quality of your connections. You don’t have to be connected to EVERYONE to get the love and support you need. Even having just one great friend can feel like plenty (*words of advice from a Lone Wolf. 🙋‍♀️*) Cultivate deeper relationships with a few trusted individuals who truly understand and support you and see how that works out for you.
  • Ditch the Drama: Seriously, f**k the drama! Larger friend groups typically mean more opinions, more disagreements, more egos, and more dramaaaa. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people who bring out the best in you. Limit your time with those who drain your energy or create unnecessary drama. Attend social events for the fun of it, but don’t get more involved in the social politics than you need to.
  • Practice Vulnerability: Don’t be afraid to show your true self to your close friends. Share your struggles, fears, and vulnerabilities. This will deepen your connections and create a safe space for mutual support. You don’t have to be the happy, strong, funny friend all the time to be loved. There are people who love and accept you wherever you are, however you are. Find those people and prioritize them.
  • Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say “no” to invitations or requests that don’t align with your needs or energy levels. Prioritize your well-being and create space for rest and self-care. (Are you sensing a theme here? Prioritize yourself.)
  • Recognize Quality Connections: Reflect on your interactions with friends. Who genuinely listens to you without judgment? Who celebrates your wins and supports you during challenges? Who avoids you when you’re not in a happy peppy mood? Who secretly celebrates when you’re going through a difficult season? Identify the friends who make you feel valued, understood, and empowered and be intentionally about investing more time and energy in those relationships.
  • Pay Attention to Your Energy Levels: Which friends leave you feeling energized and uplifted after spending time with them? Do you feel comfortable being yourself around them, without the need to put on a facade or perform? These are the friends who can truly recharge you. You don’t have to do all the uplifting. Friendships should be about give and take.

So, if you’re a Social Butterfly, keep spreading those good vibes! Your ability to connect with others is a true gift. Just remember to prioritize the connections that truly matter, set those boundaries, and take some time for yourself. By doing so, you’ll create a support system that lifts you up and helps you shine even brighter.

The Loyal Team Player

If you’re the ride-or-die friend, the one who’s always there with a listening ear, a helping hand, and a shoulder to cry on, you’re The Loyal Team Player!

You’re deeply committed to the people you care about. You value loyalty and trust above all else, and you’re always there for your friends and family, through thick and thin. You prioritize relationships and believe in the power of community. You’re a natural caregiver and find joy in supporting others.

The Loyal Team Player’s Strengths

  • Empathetic AF: You’re the ultimate listener and supporter. You’re the type that cries when you see someone else crying without knowing why. You can’t stand the idea of someone feeling down or alone, maybe because you’ve felt that way many times in your life. You truly understand and validate your friends’ feelings, offering comfort and encouragement.
  • Ride-or-Die: Loyalty is your middle name. You’re fiercely devoted to your friends and family, always there for them through thick and thin. When someone flashes the Bat Signal, you show up, ready for action. If you love someone, you give them 100% and nothing less. Everyone you love is so grateful to have you in their corner.
  • Community Builder: You have a knack for bringing people together and creating a sense of belonging. You’re the heart of your social circles. You make sure that no one feels left out or forgotten. At parties, you’re the one flitting around and helping the host (or you’re hosting yourself!) You show up for every PTA meeting and Zoom call and keep all your group chats going.
  • Nurturing Spirit: You genuinely care about the well-being of others and find joy in supporting them on their journey. You treat everyone with the same kindness and tenderness that you would a small animal. Love is embedded in your nature, and everyone knows that they can call on you to turn their frown upside-down.
  • Team Player: You’re collaborative and cooperative, always willing to lend a helping hand and work together towards a common goal. (And you normally always bring yummy snacks!)

The Loyal Team Player’s Challenges

  • People-Pleasing Tendencies: You’re such a giver that you sometimes give until you feel depleted. You might prioritize the needs of others over your own, leading to resentment or burnout.
  • Difficulty Setting Boundaries: You might struggle to say “no” or express your own needs, fearing it will damage your relationships. (Fun fact: it won’t! At least, not with the people that matter.)
  • Codependency: You might become overly invested in the problems of others, neglecting your own well-being. You may feel like it’s your responsibility to fix everything (and everyone) and make life feel comfortable and cozy for the people you love. (Fun fact: it’s not!)
  • Feeling Taken for Granted: Your unwavering support might be taken advantage of by those who don’t reciprocate the same level of care and attention. Givers tend to attract takers, and your inability to maintain boundaries can make you a prime target for people who only care about getting their needs met, and care very little about meeting the needs of others.
  • Fear of Conflict: You might avoid difficult conversations or confrontation to maintain harmony, even if it means sacrificing your own needs.

6 Ways To Build The Support System You Need

  • Prioritize Reciprocity: Seek out friendships where there is a healthy balance of give and take. Surround yourself with people who value and appreciate your support as much as you value theirs. Love should flow both ways in a healthy friendship.
  • Practice Setting Boundaries: My mother always says, “No is a complete sentence”, and it is! Learn to say “no” when you need to, without feeling guilty or obligated. This will help you protect your energy and prevent burnout. And you’re likely to gain the respect of others when you show that your needs matter and you take them seriously.
  • Communicate Your Needs: Are you depleted because people don’t want to give to you, or because you never ask? Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support when you need it. Your true friends will be happy to reciprocate the care you’ve shown them.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This could include exercise, meditation, creative pursuits, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself will give you the energy and resilience you need to maintain healthy relationships.
  • Recognize Red Flags: Be mindful of relationships that feel one-sided or draining. Trust your gut instincts and don’t be afraid to distance yourself from those who don’t value your well-being.
  • Learn to Receive: Allow yourself to receive the love, support, and care that others offer you. Don’t feel obligated to always be the giver. Accept compliments graciously and allow others to help you when needed. You are worthy of the same level of love and support that you extend to others. Give other people the opportunity to show up for you and know that you deserve it.

By recognizing your strengths, addressing your challenges, and cultivating a supportive and reciprocal network of friends, you can thrive as a Loyal Team Player and build lasting, fulfilling relationships that nurture your heart and soul.

Get instant access to the FREE 3-Day CognoZen Challenge to learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind to attract more wealth, happiness, & success!

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